Bye Bye Baby Years

Since he could talk to tell me what he wanted baby Roy would ask, at the end of his bath, "Mama, hold me like baby.  Let me see."  I'd wrap him in his green monkey towel (or else he'd say "me cold!"), cradle him like a baby, and we'd stand in front of the mirror until we were both satisfied with the moment.  He'd say 'That me.  That mama," or recently, "There me is.  There you are."  Or he'd close his eyes and feign sleeping, nuzzling close to my chest, proving that he was, in fact, still my baby, still cuddle-able, still holdable.

This morning was the first time that, after his big boy shower, I took him out, dried him off, and he did not demand "Mama, hold me like a baby."  I thought he just forgot, in the excitement.  Hmmm.  So I said, "Hey - Do you want me to wrap you in the towel and hold you like a baby?"  "No," he said.  "Me walk by myself."  And after a quick toweling off, he and his naked little bottom sprinted to his room to get ready.  He still needs help with that.

I shrugged it off.  Just a fluke.  Surely he didn't mean it.  He just forgot.  We were in my bathroom, instead of his where we normally are post-bath.  He was out of his element.  No biggie.  He'll ask me next time to hold him like a baby, when we're in the normal scene of the kids' bathroom, or he'll acquiesce to my request.  I'll surely get to wrap him up and hold him like a baby, post-bath, again.

But one day I won't.  One day, without even noticing, because it will have happened less and less frequently, he'll towel himself off, run to his room, dress himself all by himself by then, and it will have happened.  I will have, at some point, held him post-bath like a baby for the last time.

Time marches on.  It marches right over this mother's heart and stomps on it.  That's what it feels like.  Most days, my heart interprets it as - I want another baby.  But when I'm honest with myself and the reality of, well, reality, there are no more babies in our future.  When my heart and head accept that, I may take a day off work or at least wear all black, in mourning.

But I need and want to avoid mourning the fact that my kids aren't babies any more because they are fantastic amazing little humans no matter their age or stage.  So, here's to celebrating, today, the first of a last.  It means my little boy is growing up and becoming more of the amazing human he is.  I may not always be able to wrap him in a towel and pick him up but I certainly plan to take those moments when I can hold onto him and we can look at each other or in a mirror, hug and say - There's me, there's you, until we're satisfied with the moment.

Hodgepodge Organizing Ideas for a Multi-purpose Kitchen, Dining and Mudroom Space

I don't profess to be an any kind of interior design or organization guru.  But I do try to make our house and spaces functional for us, in unique ways - on the cheap.  In 2013, I plan to do a better job at loving my house and not wishing it were different.  In that spirit, I have decided to showcase some of the hodgepodge ways I have set up our house to work for us!

This post will focus on our kitchen/dinette area.  It's one big room, that has to meet the following purposes:  entry from the garage, storage of all kitchen stuff, cooking/dishes/fridge, eating, laundry room, and shoe/coat/mudroom for me, hubs, Ivy (4) and baby Roy (2).  All.In.One.Big.Room.  Argh!  Here are some of the things I've done to 'make it work':

1.  We do something funky every year with our Christmas cards.  I got a lot of flack the year I hung them on the window blinds!  This year we taped them all around our dinnette area wall and back door.  I love it and plan to leave it up until they start falling down!

2.  On the back door to the garage, we have magnetic 'cups' designed for school lockers (Target).... but we use them for extra keys, chalk, pens, and clips.  I got the dragonfly hook at a garden store.  We've added a few kid touches!  The dry/erase marker is for a d/e board hung on the wall beside the door.

3. I love this little hook I've had forever given to me by my aunt, and affixed it to the cabinet by the back door for hanging our car keys.

4.  [Not pictured]  Right when you walk in the back door, we have a large wooden book shelf that we use for extra storage.  Three large blue bins hold 'extra stuff' (like flash lights, twine, tape, etc.), onions/potatoes, and kid stuff (like the ballet bag).  We also use it to store our wine, paper towels, mail, and my purse.  Who needs new cabinets when you can use a $20 bookshelf?

5.  In total hodgepodge fashion, I took an old curtain rod and affixed it over the sink so I could hang a plant the kids gave me one mother's day, and some other special things - like a bouquet of flowers Ivy picked for me in the spring, and some dried roses a friend gave us.

6.  We don't have a mudroom and have devised a solution of hanging coats currently in use on the *outside* of the coat closet using an over-the-door hanger, with a little space on top for gloves and hats.  It's not the prettiest thing, but it's very functional, it gets used, and coats are not on the floor.

7.  This is our daycare/calendar 'command center'.  We use Google Calendar for the family calendar, but this calendar has family pictures (I made it using MyMemories) and helps us know what day it is :).  I affixed Command hooks to our 1940's era hutch, and the kids can hang their own lighter jackets and scarves up.  You can kind of see the little green storage ottomans too, where the kids can throw their shoes and hats inside.  Out of sight, but still accessible so the kids can get things themselves!

Stay tuned for the next installment when I focus on the play room.  The highlighted hodge podge continues!

How To Make a Tractor Costume {Tutorial}

My son is 2 1/2 and only loves his mom, dad and sister more than he loves tractors.  Specifically, John Deere tractors.  He was just born that way, baby.  It was a no-brainer to try to make him a tractor costume!  Here's how we did it!

What you'll need:
-2 medium sized rectangular shaped boxes.
-Scissors
-Serrated knife
-Marker/ Pencil
-Tractor-colored paint of your choice
-Black paint
-Paint brush or sponge brush
-Duct tape or packing tape


Difficulty level:  Not easy, Not hard                  
Time Commitment:  Over the course of several hours and drying overnight
Can kids help?  A little bit

Instructions:

1) Choose your boxes and arrange them the way you want them to be for your tractor.

2) Cut holes in the top and bottom of the larger upright box where the child will stand.  Then, connect the boxes together.  For our tractor, I used the top end flap on the touching end of the shorter box and stuck into the larger box through a cut slot, and taped it inside.  Then I did the same with the bottom end flap like this:

3) Secure all seams with more duct tape!

{Step 3.5:  Have fun with kids playing with the other boxes!}

Step 4) Break out the paint!  We chose to do a fancy stripe.

Step 5) Make the wheels!  I used a dinner plate to make templates.  For the 'small' front wheels, I used the actual plate size.  For the 'large' wheels, I cut a larger circle around the template.

Step 6) Add the wheels and embellish how you like!  We glued on the wheels but I wanted to use brads so they would roll around.  Oh well.  We used duct tape to make fake windows and headlights.  We've also since added shoulder straps by connecting some ribbon to the front and back of the body opening...  but baby boy doesn't like them.  

Step 7) ENJOY!  {And hope and pray the costume makes it to Halloween!  Have a backup plan :).}

Do I look frazzled yet? {A morning recap.}

Hang on to your hats.  I'm about to share what my morning was like.

The only out-of-the-ordinary I expected was dropping off the dogs at the groomer.  Oh boy.... was I wrong.

First, we all got ready and out the door yay!  Dogs and kids in the car.  Took the kids to school.  Nothing seemed awry.  Yay!  Off to the groomers...  dropped the dogs off.  Cool as a cucumber.  Then, I thought, I'm close to Walgreens - I'll step in to see if my reprints are done.  Well, no such luck.  {I had gotten reprints because the first batch were stuck together.  Looks like I forgot to submit my order on the free reprint!  DOH!  Did it in store. But that meant a 3rd trip to Walgreens later.  Oh well...}  Off to work!

I got to work 5 minutes before staff meeting.  Time to spare and check my email and voice mail!  Uh oh.  I have SIX VOICE MAILS from daycare and hubby all trying to tell me that baby Roy has a 100 degree temperature.  Hmmm.  Does that mean I have to go get him?  What's going on?  Must go to staff meeting.

Get text from husband that he's going to get baby.  I step out to call him - and tell him no I can get the baby; I know he's sitting in on important interviews today.  So it's settled.  I have to go get baby.

But first - I do my report in staff meeting.  Then at a good time, make a graceful exit.

[cute musical notes]  On the road again!  Drive to pick up baby.  His teacher tells me that it just hit !!??102.2?!?.  I'm feeling like horrible mom because he didn't even seem hot less than 2 hours ago when I dropped him off.  She says it elevated really quickly.  To me that means - trip to the doctor!

Call the doctor.  Take the next appointment at 10:45.  Go there, do that, poor baby has to get his finger pricked twice and doesn't cry at all!  We have to come back tomorrow to check again if he may have an infection but so far, all signs point to virus. 
On the way home, the groomer calls.  Dogs are ready!  We swing up by the groomer, throw the dogs in.  Hey wait - there's Walgreens again - wonder if my pictures are ready?  Baby's asleep.  I call and yes - they are - and waiting for me right up front!  I pull up in front, don't care what other customers are saying about me, grab the pics and head home.


And that, folks, is how a perfectly good working mom routine gets even better.  I get to spend the day with my boy.

Life Has No Script

Ok, so duh.  Life has no script.  But I'm the type of person who would LOVE it if there were a script.  In fact I try to make life have a script... well my life, anyway.  I try to think through 'how everything will go.'  Who will say what, who should say what back to them, where somebody will go when, and how it will all look like.  Did you know I basically scripted our whole wedding ceremony?  And I guess I scared our preacher into not deviating from the script because boy, he sure didn't.  (Hi David if you're reading this!)


I like to know what's going to happen next.  I like to have imagined all the answers, all the possibilities and planned for them.  And in the end, I want everybody to be happy with themselves and with each other.  Which usually requires a script because otherwise, real life happens and that gets icky.


So the past few weeks have been a challenge for me.  A lot happened in a short time period and I didn't have time to script it all.  I had to - yikes - go with the flow.  It started with a big conference at work, put on by yours truly.  It was the most scripted of all.....  but once the clock struck 8 and we kicked it off, it still felt like walking a tightrope without a safety net.  And though the evaluations were positive, I still feel 'eh' about it, wondering if everybody was truly happy with the day?


Then Ivy's birthday part(ies) and recital weekend extravaganza.  We put up the bounce house, got some food, invited people and - bam - let it just happen.  Without an agenda.  I was totally uncomfortable.  But the reviews were good!  Yay?  Then came the recital and family visits. None of which was scripted...  anything could happen!  People could say or do things that might hurt each other - oh no!


Enter anxiety.


But rest assured this is a personal problem.  I've been pretty very good at not scripting life for my kids.  At not scheduling everything or being a controlling, helicopter parent, worried about the impact of the least little unanticipated disappointment on their precious molding minds.  And I'm starting to learn to let go of control by watching them.  Little by little.


My kids are teaching me how to grow.


On the first day of Ivy's recital during her ballet performance, Ivy totally went off script, got confused and ran off the stage in the middle of the performance, followed by 2 other girls.  (This is the kind of thing that would have terrified me and kept me up all the night before, worrying about the mere potentiality of doing this on stage.)  But they got it together, were ushered back on stage.  Totally unscathed.


And you know what?  Everybody was ok.  And that unscripted part was the most precious.

This Mom's Weight Loss Tips

Let me just say, I don't diet.  As in, I don't buy diet books or subscribe to fads.  I try to be intentional about getting back to a 'happy weight' for me (last seen two babies ago), but the path to no-weight-loss-land is paved with good intentions.  And I'm not even sure how much I weigh.


All that said, I've lost weight recently!  Somebody commented at a work event last week that I looked thinner.  And you know what - she was right!  I can fit into pants that, several months ago, were too tight!  So for you burning inquiring minds out there, here are my weight loss tips - most suitable for people who want to lose weight but don't really want to try.


1) Eat half of what's on your plate.  There are two ways do to this;  fill your plate, knife down the middle, and pretend one half isn't there.  Save it for later.  (This is a great strategy for restaurants.)  The second way is to have a ravenous toddler sit on your lap and he will eat the other half for you.


2) Cut out one thing you can live without.  For me, it was either wine or creamer.  A doctor I work with has a motto - "Life's too short for boring creamer" so I cut out the wine.  200 calories a day gone.


3) If kids steal food off my plate, I don't refill it.


4) Eat the frog first.  This is a good strategy in life in general.  Do the thing you hate (but have to do) first.  Eat the veggies and fruit first.  Now if I can only reach my goal of having fresh fruit or veg at every meal....


5) Rule:  The family eats together, sitting down, at the dinner table.  Gone are the days of feeding the kids first, then eating pepperoni and wine over the sink.


6) NO SODAS are allowed in my house.  Unless my parents come, then they can bring their Diet Dr. Pepper. Also NO SODAS are allowed in my kids' mouths.  They've tasted it and don't like it.  Sodas are treats for adults.


7) I don't buy anything with added corn syrup or added sugar.  At least, not intentionally.  Sometimes it's hard to tell from the labels on things... but I read labels and make decisions accordingly.


8) All juice in our house has less than 28 g of sugar, with no corn syrup (see above).  It also gets diluted with water.


9) Make one healthier choice a day.  If I have a choice, and I want to choose something unhealthy, at least once a day I will make a healthier choice.  Example:  I want to eat the whole bag of dark chocolate m&ms... but I make a healthier choice and only eat a hand full, saving the rest for tomorrow.


10)   Don't stress about it!  Sometimes we relax the rules and have donuts two days in a row, and most days  if you make my 4-year-old eat a vegetable she will literally throw up.  I don't want that to be her memory of food and toddlerhood.  When it comes down to it, we are lucky to live in a country with plentiful food.  95% of the time, we make a concerted effort to ensure the food we eat is the right quantity and right quality.  That's about as good as it gets.


Did any of these 'strategies' lead to my recent weight loss?  I'm not sure but something seems to be working!  Woo hoo!

Semi-Homemade Aurora Crown

My child so badly wants to be a princess some days.  Today was one of those days.  We have princess decals in her room and she always points to either Belle or Sleeping Beauty (Aurora) and says - When I grow up, I'm going to have that hair, and that dress, and hold that thing (a fan) and have a crown like that and be a princess.  It is perhaps the cutest thing ever, since the most recent thing my children did that was the cutest thing ever, like 5 seconds before that.  So today we indulged her a little and made a crown!  And okay, we were both a little bored.... 4 days at home!  A pleasure, and a challenge!  So I googled "aurora crown" and we found this simply adorable pattern.  However, we didn't have craft foam or jewels.... so, enter tin foil!  Here's what we did:  1) Trace the template in the pattern on card board.  Cut out!  2)  Cover it with glue and wrap with tin foil ("silver" as Big Sister called it) 3)  Find a head band that she never wears and glue the 'silver crown' to it, held in place with clothes pins for ~30 minutes 4) In the mean time, make 4 "jewels" by covering diamond (or whatever) shaped pieces of cardboard with tin foil.  Crayons worked okay for giving the 'jewels' a hint of color.   5)  Glue the 'jewels' on the 'crown' in your desired pattern.

Presto create-o!  An aurora crown that Big Sister has worn all day!  And we didn't have to purchase a single thing or make a trip to the craft store!

Mommy Haiku

Lollipop lovers
M&Ms melt in their hands
Bathed in saliva
But not in the car seat

Driving home from school
Humming along to veggies
Who sing about God

Cars at the daycare
Bland colored piano keys
Running to and fro

Ballet class.  Pink walls.
Tiny feet, moms' finger tips
Tap tapping away.

Naked baby blast!
Shake your booty in the bath tub!
Happy artist time!
Bubble manicures.

(Former title:  Tired mommy 5-minute red light break time Haiku.)

Share your mommy haiku with me!

A Day in the Life

This may sound crazy but sometimes I feel if I talk candidly about some of our 'normal' days, that they will sound crazy to most people.  Even more crazy (see - that's the 3rd use of the word 'crazy' (4) so read on at your own risk)...  I feel like it may out ourselves as doing the completely wrong things or scare people away from wanting kids or more kids, or that I will somehow reveal that parenting ain't all it's cracked up to be.  See - crazy, me thinking I would have all that power....  but truth is, some days are no cake walk.  Here's the breakdown of our day yesterday.

6:30  Wake up, have leisurely hour or so having fun, getting annoyed with each other, getting over it
7:30  Finally decide we're all going to get donuts and get advil for baby Roy who's had a fever all night
8:00  Eat donuts; the kids eat all the frosting; we get all the rest; most ends up on the floor
8:30  Navigate grocery store with Big Sister to get advil, diapers, others - I'm sure I forgot something
9:00  Head home, get "real clothes" (forgot to mention kids are in pajamas) and head to zoo despite it being overcast!
9:30-11:30  Have a great time at the zoo!  Despite not feeling well, Baby Monster and Big Sister love it.  The clear highlight of the day.
11:30-12:00  Stop at home improvement store - make decision to move forward with getting carpet, after months of discussion and indecision!  We leave without doing that due to Big Sis having diarrhea again and being trumped by people looking at higher-price carpet.
12:00-4:00  Snacking/eating, reading books, lots of crying and naps.  Baby Monster seems to be feeling worse.
4:00  Big Sister and I go to the library.  Get lots of great books!  She has lots of diarrhea and we leave with her going commando and me smelling like, well, you know.
5:00  Get home - decide Baby Monster needs to see a doctor. It's Saturday evening.  Thank goodness for Kid Med.  Catch up with a friend while cuddling in the doc's office and make plans for next weekend!
6:00  Baby Monster as 102 fever (they took it the 'old fashioned' way), diagnosed with ear infection  My poor baby :(.
7:00 Fill prescription at Walgreens.  He's starting to smile and laugh and feel better - so relieved.
8:00  Finally home.  Big Sister has no pants on -- has had diarrhea again.  Has it one more time.
9:00  Baths!  Officially way past bedtime....  we read some new books and....
9:30  Crying ensues.  Lots of it.  Unsure why.
10:30  Both kids asleep.  I can't sleep so get to read The Help FINALLY after it being on my book shelf for 6 weeks.
11:00  Realize I still have my day clothes on, and still smell a little like diarrhea.  Take a shower, then Thankful for the peace and quiet.... and that we had a nice day despite all the sickness and diarrhea and that everybody has a path to wellness now.


In the end, we all love and took care of each other.  I guess maybe it doesn't sound so crazy after all.

5 Things I Won't Miss About the Baby Years

 Now that our son is well past age 1 and our daughter has been out of 'baby mode' (mostly) for over 2 years, I almost feel like the "Baby Years" are behind us.  I loved my babies.  I loved everything about them, every moment, every new thing, every sensation in every way.  However, like many earth-shattering, life-changing experiences, there are things about it I won't miss.  Similar to my Peace Corps experience, being a new parent during those Baby Years was the "toughest job I'd ever love" (I've heard adolescence isn't a cake walk either!) and I am here to say "good riddance" to the tough parts!  Here are the Top 5 things I will not miss in any way shape or form.

1.  Feeling like a hostage to my babies' breastfeeding needs.  I loved breastfeeding and I would make the same choices all over again.  But sometimes I felt like breastfeeding's puppet, like it really controlled me, rather than the other way around.  And I don't tend to like not being in control.  But that's how nature intended.  It's what works best for baby.  Maybe it was my personality, but there were times when I could almost see the metal chains and feel the metal cuffs that, whenever my kids' needed to nurse (sometimes every 30 minutes an hours!) would supercede everything else in my life and pull me out of the real world and into the nursing cocoon.

2.  Trying to use the bathroom while nursing one baby and comforting the other (A.K.A. Ridiculous multi-tasking).  That's almost all I need to say or can say about this one.  I don't even like the feeling I get just trying to remember what it was like to hold a nursing or crying baby with one hand and finally decide to just go ahead and use the bathroom at the same time, come what may.  Stretched.  To.  The. Max.  Emotionally and physically.  Moving on.

3.  Not getting a chance to look at myself in the mirror (and when I did, not recognizing the person there)  This is just a different variation on #2, but a distinct one.  Basically, I will not miss having no time to pay attention to myself.  I know my hair looked scary crazy some days and there were days when I just had to 'take one for the team' and skip a shower.  I would go to work and people would pick cheerios off my back and politely tell me they thought I had dried baby spit-up on my shoulder.  Nice!  What this boils down to was having so many people (kids, husband, co-workers, boss, etc!) with so many needs imposed upon me that I just feel like an entity meeting the needs of others,to the point of losing my sense of self.  [Perhaps I could have used some therapy for that, ha ha!]

4.  Feeling not unlike a cow.  All you new mommas who pump milk for your baby, holla!  I may miss breastfeeding my kids (eventually) but I will NEVER miss the pump.  It was a nice pump.  It worked very well and allowed me to feed my child when we weren't together.  For this I am forever grateful to the inventor of the pump and to those who gifted me the pump.  But the pump and I had a love-hate relationship I will not miss.  MOOOOOOOOve over pump, don't let the door hit you in the butt when you leave!

5.  The ever-present fear that somebody or something would take away my newfound joy.  This is not something I've talked about with other moms so I'm unsure if this is a common feeling.  I was, almost on a daily basis, scared that somehow, my babies would die.  I hate to put such a fine point on it, but that's how I felt.  The nature of my career has enlightened me about all of the possible ways parents can lose babies, so that may be part of it.  More than that, though, was that  I was so incredibly in love with my babies, so happy with everything they brought into my life that I thought there was no way that Whoever's In Charge would allow me to continue being so happy without some sadness to balance it out.

I'm not sure that the fear of #5 has subsided, but it is more in the background than the foreground now.  I know that statistically, the risk of losing a child after infancy drops dramatically.  There are times when I hug them and think about all these things I won't miss and pull them a little tighter, feeling like we've done battle together and I'm ready for almost anything ahead.  I've been in the trenches of the Baby Years.  Bring it on.

Pedicure in Winter

[Originally my blog was called "Pedicure in Winter" but I have sinced changed it to "Clip Clop Mama."

So why, "pedicure in winter"?  Well let me tell you a little about pedicures and me.  I discovered pedicures a few years ago with a good friend of mine.  If you haven't, I highly recommend you visit a nail salon near you for a pedicure A.S.A.P.  A pedicure delivers all sorts of luxurious, delicious things for your mind and body in a short period of time for relatively little cost ($20-$30 typically).  If the salon does not have the spa massage chairs, find a new salon.  While you get massaged by the chair, your feet and legs get massaged and pampered by another person; all the grime and grit is removed from your toes (ick!), and you leave with pretty, pink toes feeling revived and refreshed.
    But wait.  One of the best things about a pedicure is getting to show off your pedicure during the Spring and Summer in pretty, open-toed shoes... right?!  Pretty flip-flops or sandals, preferably.  One might even ask - why even bother with a pedicure in winter?  In the winter (unless you live in year-round summer type places), you get your lovely pedicure just to cover it up with socks and boots.  Nobody sees it.  What a bummer.
     Transition to my life.  As a new wife (of 5 1/2 years) and mother (of a 2 1/2-year-old beautiful girl and 10-month-old simply adorable boy), this is sometimes how I feel - like I have a "pedicure" (all these lovely little things I used to enjoy like poetry and writing and painting and making collages and pottery) that get covered up and pushed aside by daily life.  Understand that my priorities have changed; I have other needs that occupy my time (read:  changing diapers, playing with play-doh, grocery shopping, giving baths, paying bills - the usual!).  And I love those needs!  I love my family with every bit of my heart!  Don't misunderstand me:  my kids and my husband and family are my life.
         On the other hand, I really miss my creative self.  Not that I was every very good or professional at any of my creative endeavors, but they made me *feel better*.  By returning to them and doing a better job at integrating creativity into my everyday life, I feel I will be a better  wife and mother and, bonus, happier with myself! 
         Friends, I have gotten lost in the "Why Get a Pedicure in Winter?" mistake.  Just like there are perfectly wonderful reasons to get a pedicure in the winter (Reasons to Get a Pedicure in Winter), there are wonderful, great, awesome reasons why I - as a full-time mother and wife (at least this one!)  - need to find creative outlets and let my 'pink toes' shine.  I need to return closer to a feeling of 'self' and 'centeredness,' and I have several goals to get me back to the enjoyment and fulfillment I once felt (on occasion any way) from expressing creativity.  Yes I am busy.  I am a mom and wife trying my best to raise two kids and be a good partner and responsible adult and upstanding citizen.  But I dream of making the most of my time on this planet; we all only live once unless reincarnation turns out to be real.
         I've read that the best way to accomlish goals is to begin by writing them down (How To Accomplish Your Goals in Life).  So here we go.  I will  hold myself accountable through this Blog. 
1.  To do a weekly art craft with my children.  (This is my 'low hanging fruit'!)
2.  To make a quilt from fabric I brought home from Africa that I've had for 10 years, within 2 years
3.  To write and publish a children's book or other e-book during the coming year.
4.  To compile and publish a book of poetry during the coming 2 years.
5.  To write and publish a book based on my Peace Corps experience within 5 years.
I look forward to gaining readers on my journey who will hold me accountable....  and I am excited to hear your thoughts, opinions, comments and hope to have a lot of fun along the way!